Head versus Gut, Part Two, or, The Cell Phone Returns from the Dead

This little story isn’t one that I’d ordinarily put on this blog—no horses in it. It’s more appropriate for “It’s an Alchemical Life.” But it follows so well with the post about Nevada and her jaw that it seems to want to be here. So here you are: The Universe reinforcing my growing trust in my intuitive knowings.

Yesterday I was crawling around on the rocks next to my backyard waterfall when my cell phone went for a swim. I fished it out within seconds of its dunking; nevertheless, it was lifeless and still. No pretty green light or tinking bell, no comforting buzz…nothing. I took it apart, dried it off carefully, but still…nothing. Deader than dead.

Now, here’s the really intriguing thing: At the moment the phone took its dive, someone or something inside me said, “Well, dang. That’s inconvenient. But it’ll be fine.” My body said, “It’ll be fine.” No feeling of terror, no sense of dread—nothing. “It’ll be fine.”

But did I believe that? Nope.

Instead, I took to my bed (sad to say, quite literally) and the Drama Queen took over. Tears, wailing, gnashing of teeth ensued: “Why did this happen to me? What can it mean? Those phones are expensive—where will I get the money to replace it? I’ll miss all my important calls! I can’t go anywhere because I might get mugged and have no phone to call for help! What if I die!” Ms. D.Q. has a great imagination and good vocal chords.

A while later I got up again and went to the Ultimate Guide to Life: facebook. My friends had words of comfort and advice, almost all of which revolved around rice and patience. Especially the patience part; not my strong suit.

Three whole hours passed, and the cell phone was still dead. Five hours. Ten hours…twelve. Finally, around midnight, I gave up and went to bed, feeling vaguely betrayed (“You said it would be fine! You promised!“) and quite depressed.

This morning, mirabile dictu, my phone has returned to life, evidently unscathed by its visit to the Other Side. What’s most intriguing is my response: I detected a touch of disappointment in that fact! Wow! The Drama Queen was actually disappointed to find out that she has nothing to tear her hair over. Wow….

So: My intuition was correct once again. I felt that the phone would be just fine, when I listened to my body and not to my head. I felt that way even last night when it still looked to be dead, and even while wailing and moaning about being “wrong,” and “how can I ever learn to trust my intuition when I’m wrong about something like this,” and on and on…and lo and behold, the phone is JUST FINE this morning.

Here’s the Big Question: If I were to change my belief about being in the world, what would happen? What if, instead of “if you want it you can’t have it” (which is what I learned ever so well as a child), the refrain said, “If you want it and work to make it happen, very likely you can have it!” (Yes, even that statement is cautious, but hey—baby steps!)

It’s amazing: First, how difficult that change in belief pattern feels to me, and second, how vastly different my life might be—would be!—if I were to change it. My entire world would change.

My entire world will change. I’m learning to trust, even after sixty years and more.

The Drama Queen is sitting over there in the corner pouting. Get used to it, honey.

Addendum: A friend, reading this, points out that clearly I have not yet put Ms. D.Q.’s crown on Craig’s list. I have to plead guilty to that one. But it’s so pretty….